Wednesday, March 27, 2013

All those wonderful things about pregnancy and child birth that no one mentions…. Because if they did then no one would have children.



               First off, I would like to point out that PREGNANCY BOOKS LIE! It isn’t their fault. If they told you the UGLY truth, you wouldn’t buy it! Since I don’t have that problem, I see no point in not telling you all the wonderful things I learned in the 4, yes 4, times I have gone through it.
1.       Morning sickness is not just in the mornings. Yes I know, it seems a little miss leading being called MORNING sickness and all, but it will strike day or night, with no rhyme or reason to it. You can be walking along minding your own business and then BAM you smelled something unpleasant and have now vomited all over the baby clothes department.  They will tell you “don’t worry by the end of the 1st trimester it will pass”.  That is the biggest load of crap. They just tell you that so you don’t off yourself when the hormones have you in their clutches and you haven’t felt like living in months. You will hold on to that hope that TOMORROW will be the day that the “anytime day or night whenever it is least convenient sickness” will be gone for good and that maternal glow you had heard so much about can finally show up.  I waited for that day to come, it never did. I had “anytime day or night whenever it is least convenient sickness” up until the time all 4 of my kids were born. Literally, on the delivery table puking my guts out. My day never came; I hope you are more fortunate then I.

2.       I found my maternal glow, and came to realize it was really just oily skin. I had FLAWLESS beautiful porcelain skin, the kind that makes everyone jealous. I had never suffered from acne. If I had one red bump, I thought my face was falling apart, and then I got pregnant.  My beautiful skin turned on me and I didn’t know what to do! I had dry skin and oily skin, I had acne and if I tried to treat it my skin would dry out and I would resemble a scale covered snake. Maternal Glow, HA!

3.       When you get pregnant you wait with bated breath for that moment you will feel those first tiny flutters, and they are amazing!  Then you feel that first healthy kick and are in pure bliss. How could it possibly get any better?! It can’t. Relish those moments now, because before you know it you will be walking around with your hand pushing your little bundle down praying they would stop prying your ribs apart. Then they drop and you can breathe again! With the comes the realization that you can now not stray farther then 20 ft from a bathroom at any given time and will from that point forward be walking around feeling like you are holding a bowling ball between your legs. By the way, don’t sneeze, nothing good will come from it.

4.       You have made it through the pregnancy and are now at the finish line. You have read in all the books that labor will start with a few minor, basically pain free contractions and it will intensify to feel like really intense menstrual cramps. Unless your menstrual cramps resemble being hit by a bus, you are in for a rude awakening.  I remember my first labor like it was yesterday. I kept worrying that I, for some reason wouldn’t know I was in labor until it was too late and my baby would be born at home! Hahahaha, yeah right!  Labor hit me like a ton of bricks! That first contraction hit and I was like HOLY !@#$  I was sure I must be one of those weird women that just don’t notice early labor and I had to be about ready to deliver. There was NO WAY I could imagine going through to many more of those. 2 hrs later when I finally made it to the hospital (thanks again MOM) I was praying the earth would open up and swallow me. I KNEW I was close, had to be at least 9 cm. No way could those 2 hours of torture have not gotten me there.  After anoh so fun exam to see how I had progressed, I was informed that I was at 2 cm. A FREAKEN 2! If I had been in less pain, and had more energy, that nurse who smiled so brightly when she announced that little fun fact, would have been badly beaten! I was in hard labor for 13 hours. Longest 13 hours of my life. It felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside. I tried it all. The shower, the ball, walking, sitting, standing, balancing on my head… nothing helped. If anyone says any of those things will help, they are lying.

5.        Right about child number 3, I learned that those wonderful little things called AN EPIDURAL, that people (who obviously never had one) tell you to avoid, are like MAGIC! I remember thinking I was an IDIOT for going all natural with my first 2. It seemed to me, to be right up there with denying anesthesia when getting a tooth pulled. Sure it won’t kill you if you don’t use it, but why the hell would you torture yourself like that?! When I went in to have baby number 4 I started asking for my epidural as soon as I walked in the door. I wasn’t even in labor yet! I knew what was coming, might as well be prepared!

6.       I was under the impression, (thanks again lying pregnancy books) that after the baby is out, you are done. You will be handed a squalling little red faced miracle, the cord would be cut and life would continue as usual. Oh sure, you know there is the placenta, and it has to come out, but it seems that it is grazed over in the pregnancy books. It is like delivering a 2.5 pound boneless baby. If you are unfortunate enough to have your contractions stall after the baby comes out, a cheery faced nurse will “gently massage” your stomach until it is expelled. What that means is they will cause your uterus, which is a muscle, to basically charley horse causing immense pain through your midsection while they wait for a few more of those wonderful contractions to push the rest out. Enjoy

7.       Stiches, never something anyone wants to think about going into your nether regions. ESPECIALLY if you need them! Your poor Va Jay Jay is so traumatized the last thing you want is someone spending another 15 minutes down there with a needle and thread, “patching you up” After my first I was informed that I had a small tear and they suggested I get 2 stiches.  I thought about it for about half a second and told them to take the needle and back away slowly. MISTAKE!!! For the next 3 weeks every time I went pee it felt like LIQUID FIRE! I became one with my peri bottle and I found a whole new use for preparation H wipes. I found that had I gotten those 2 tiny little stiches, after about 5 days I would have been fine. Lesson learned.

8.       Of course the first thing they do is try to get the baby to latch. Breast feeding looks so easy who could imagine doing anything else?!  Professional figure skaters make triple axels look easy too, have you tried to do one of those lately?  About day 3 I was so engorged I looked like I was sporting 2 watermelons. They look great but even the slightest bump to those puppies and you will start swinging. They are painful to even look at.  I remember BEGGING my infant to just EAT and she seemed to think that was the day she wasn’t really hungry but wanted to catch up on her sleep. Sadly, I was far too uncomfortable to join her. Pumping helps a little but not much. You soon reach the point where your nipples feel like they have been put through a meat grinder. Then you get to decide “extreme nipple pain or extreme engorgement”. That’s always fun.

 I will leave off with this, although my boobs may now look like deflated balloons that are left over from a kids birthday party, I have enough stretch marks to resemble a road map, and I spend way too much time wondering why, Dora, a 4yr old, who is left alone to wander the town, talking to strangers as she goes, seems to be an appropriate preschool role model. I wouldn’t change a thing, but ask me again when they are teenagers.

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